What is style and how do you get it?
Unconventional advice for finding your style in a world full of noise
Here are some style notes that run in my veins; Tavi Gevinson’s Style Rookie, goths, the short-lived London fashion brand Meadham Kirchhoff, 1960s pop singers, 1920s Paris, Patti Smith’s ‘Horses’ album cover, writers, Jarvis Cocker’s suits, that one picture of Alexa Chung smoking on some steps in a velvet dress and knee-high socks. If you printed my brain out as a Pinterest board, this is what would be on it.
Personal style is contradictory by nature. Like taste, it is something that can be possessed but also something that can be achieved. I like to think of it as a lifelong pursuit of creating small, perfect moments. Sometimes life can be ugly and messy, but getting dressed is a way to carve out a little piece of it that feels beautiful. Wearing a good outfit can be a consolation and an act of defiance.
In Personal Style and Artistic Style, Nick Riggle defines style as a “way of doing things; of dressing, decorating, walking, gesturing, talking, and so on. But we also think that not everyone has a style, that having a style is something to work at or achieve—we don’t get it for free. If a person’s style is just her way of doing things, then surely everyone who does things has a style. So does everyone have a style or not?”
Lots of articles on personal style will tell you to “just be yourself!” But, as Riggle notes, simply existing and doing is not enough on its own for someone to truly possess style. Style is less about being yourself and more about knowing yourself, which is an active rather than passive action.
Our cultural obsession with ‘finding your style’ presupposes that there is an end goal to be reached. That one day, in the near future, you will wake up and magically have style. This is pure fantasy. It would be incredibly dull were this the case. Getting to know yourself is something you do constantly. It lasts your whole life.
So, embrace the complexity and contradictions inherent in finding your style. The inevitable mishaps and experiments are the most fun. And if having style isn’t fun, then what’s the point of all of this?
With that in mind, here is my guide to cultivating style in 2025. This is not the only way or the best way. It is one way.
Wear whatever is weird by your hometown’s standards
To have style, you must be on the receiving end of confused stares in small towns. The funny looks and snarky comments are a rite of passage. If you grew up in a rural area, you will know that they are not usually hubs of fashion innovation. Dress for the town or city you want to live in, rather than the one you are stuck in.
I spent my teenage years trying to recreate runway looks with whatever my pocket money could stretch to on the high street, much to the bemusement of everyone around me. Girls at school were mean about it, but eventually, I escaped with a little bit of trauma and a lot of style. If no one says your outfit’s weird, then it’s not a good outfit.
(Only follow this advice if you live somewhere where you feel safe to do so. A good outfit is not worth being in any real danger over.)
Dress like shit sometimes
Embrace your flop eras. After all, some of the most beautiful flowers don’t bloom all year round. Get a few comfy hoodies/trackies/cargo pants that you can mix and match when you want to have a low-effort day. This doesn’t have to actually look like shit, of course. FKA twigs has a space in her wardrobe dedicated to what she calls the ‘blues’, a selection of comfy clothes in the same shade of blue that she can style in any combination and still look put together.
Be in The Devil Wears Prada opening sequence
Stuck in a life slump? Or worse, a style slump? Try pretending to be in the opening scene of The Devil Wears Prada. Only, you are not the protagonist, Andy. You are one of the glamorous Runway girls. The ones that wear expensive lingerie and squeeze their slim feet into stiletto heels to go to work every day. While their outfit choices are heinously impractical for a long day in the office, their ritual of getting ready in the morning can be aspirational in times of low style motivation.
The dream media career we were sold in ‘00s rom-coms might not exist, but you can still create moments and outfits that make it feel like it does. Blasting KT Tunstall’s Suddenly I See optional.
Have an artistic style
Your style extends into everything you create, be it an abstract painting or a really good meal. Your art expresses your style more than the clothes you wear. However, your clothes are often a person’s first impression, especially offline. So craft a sartorial style that reflects your creative vision, but don’t neglect your artistic style itself.
Take your time
Style requires time. Time to read. Time to watch. Time to absorb everything through osmosis. Unfortunately, time is the exact thing most of us don’t have. Life moves fast. Even the fashion trend cycle has sped itself up into near extinction. Instead of rushing your style, wait for it to find you. Be a collector, not a shopper. Let your clothes become a part of your personal mythology. If you spend time cultivating your taste, style will follow.
Figure out what you liked before all the noise
Dig deep. Return to what you loved in childhood and early adolescence before your brain was rotted from too many algorithmic recommendations. Spend some time thinking about what these things are. We spend so much time mindlessly consuming fashion and style content without thinking about what we actually like.
Some things from those years that influenced my style are Bratz dolls, dresses I wore on holiday as a kid, the scarves my ballet teacher used to give out for us to dance with, tennis, 2012 Lana Del Rey, the Chanel Cruise 2012 show at Versailles. These things will always stay the same. They make up a soup of references that I pull from. This is a surefire way to stop dressing like other people and start dressing like yourself.
Be a total fashion nerd
It’s cool now to be into fashion intellectually, but that wasn’t always the case. Fashion has often been perceived as trivial and not as worthy of serious intellectual study as other facets of culture. Don’t let that stop you from studying it seriously if it interests you.
Look at old runway shows on YouTube. Read articles, essays and reviews. Watch documentaries. Learn about fashion history. Be ravenous. Your style will become referential, no longer so moored by contemporary trends or your TikTok feed. Some of my favourite fashion writers that I’ve read for a long time are Rachel Tashjian, Lauren Cochrane, José Criales-Unzueta, Mahoro Seward and Rosalind Jana,
Touch grass
If others can guess your screen time from your outfit, they should be guessing low – but not too low. Never dress for the internet or prioritise how your outfit would be perceived online. This leads to the death of individuality. Instead, wear what makes your heart sing. Posting less or deleting Instagram helps with this too. If you wear a sick outfit and no one photographs it, it still counts!
Find small designers you love
Big brands can feel monolithic and repetitive. It’s the small ones who are more in step with the cultural mood. Stockists like London’s APOC store of New York’s Retail Pharmacy are good starting points for discovering independent designers. If the designers themselves are out of your budget, their websites and Instagram pages can be a source of styling tips and inspiration (but never buy fast fashion designs stolen from emerging designers!)
Be overdressed and overeducated
If you overdress, you will most often be perceived as having style. It was Oscar Wilde who said “you can never be overdressed or overeducated.” Wilde is considered a style icon despite only a handful of low-quality black-and-white images existing of him in the public domain — quite the achievement. So, we should listen and overdress in his honour. This doesn’t mean showing up to brunch in black tie attire, but it does mean putting in an effort even for smaller occasions. Make the little things feel like a celebration.
Write an article about personal style
While this piece was percolating, I started thinking more about my own style and putting a little more effort into what I wore each day. You can’t write an article about finding your style if you consistently dress poorly. Not everyone will like my style. Not everyone will like your style. But cultivating a style that is your own is more valuable than the pursuit of external approval. Stay weird.
Some things I’ve been enjoying this week:
I’ve been revisiting Marianne Faithfull’s brilliant 1979 album Broken English since her death. Listening to it walking down the streets of my hometown makes me feel like a teenager raging against the world again. And, speaking of style, she had it in buckets.
Humanist Vampire Seeks Consenting Suicidal Person surprised me with how — ironically — human and full of life it is. It reminded me a little of I Saw The TV Glow which was my favourite film of last year. I love any story about two misfits coming of age.
I’ve been reading and seeking out more flash fiction on Substack. I’ve started listing all my favourites in this thread here.