Kill your scarcity mindset! Be delusional!
On taking risks, chasing dreams and being delusional with it
When was the last time you took a risk?
Sometimes you need to close your eyes and throw your fate overboard, not knowing whether it will sink or swim. Give up everything you know on a gamble and a prayer.
I’m writing this somewhere between Lille and Paris, balanced on that curious precipice of blind faith and delusion. The train is crawling through a mist of snow and ice, floating through the black vacuum of January. It is a dark, bitter night, the kind of winter dark where you can’t help but think a little of death. I’m feeling dramatic, dangerous, delusional.
It’s fashionable now to say that new year’s resolutions are pointless. Winter is the worst time for new beginnings. New year, new me is a corporate ploy to funnel more money into gym memberships. If you have to set resolutions at all, make sure they are realistic, otherwise you will hate yourself all the way through to 2027.
But, to that I say; why can’t we just have fun with it? Setting crazy, lofty goals is one of life’s great pleasures. This year, I’m pouring my hard work and good luck into an ocean of delusion. I’m baking all the figs from my tree into one delicious pie. I’m taking a lifetime of cautious planning and happy accidents and sad regrets and running with them. I am going to have a year of delusion.
When I write about delusion, I am using the co-opted, internet definition of “being delulu”, not its official definition of “believing things that are not true.” Being delusional or “delulu” describes unrealistic or overly idealistic beliefs. It means pursuing a Sisyphean feat with the steadfast conviction that you will complete it; setting the target too high, entering a race you will probably lose. It means going against logic and setbacks to chase your crazy, precious dream.
For me, this year, that looks like moving to Paris, setting up a freelance career, writing a novel, becoming fluent in French and falling in love (this last one is a little out of my control, but I have been the number one dating app cynic for years and it’s time to get over myself, so we’re manifesting romance again in 2026.)
These are all things I have been dreaming of doing, but putting off because I was waiting for the perfect time. Because I thought these dreams were too big and delusional to tackle with any conviction.
These are the rules:
Don’t get pregnant
Don’t lose all my money
Don’t die
If I stick to them, then what’s the worst that could happen?
One week before my fateful train ride through the snow, I was at the cinema watching Marty Supreme. The film is a masterclass in delusion. No doubts. No backup plans. Just dogged determination, delusion and a dream. Marty Mauser goes through hell and back to make it to the ping pong world championships. It’s a dream that seems insignificant to many of the people in his life who don’t see ping pong as a serious sport, but nothing deters his pursuit. The release of Marty Supreme, its hyperactive marketing campaign and Timothée Chalamet’s SAG Award speech on “the pursuit of greatness” all point to a wider trend that encourages delusional dreaming.
There is an entire cottage industry dedicated to it. ChatGPT thinks every idea you have is the best one ever. The Artist’s Way claims the universe will meet you halfway if only you start. Influencers get rich and lucky off our attention then command even more of it to tell us how we can do the same. Endless instructional Substacks urge us to live your dream life and just do things. I gobble them up every time because this kind of delusion is delicious and addictive.
And yet, delusion feels more irresponsible now than ever. Everyone says, if you have a job, don’t leave it because there are no jobs right now. In an impossible job market and an unstable economy, staying where you are is the safest choice.

The same goes for being in a relationship. Surely, you’ve heard that Hinge is the fiery pits of hell and, if you’re coupled, you basically got the last chopper out of Nam. You might be dissatisfied with your job or your relationship, but if you are otherwise safe then the advice is to stay put. Even young, ambitious dreamers are falling for this scourge of scarcity and advising caution lest you end up in the terrifying purgatory of being single and being unemployed.
But why should you sacrifice your life, your youth, for something that is out of your control?
What if you flip it all around? If everything is as awful as we say it is, then what do you have to lose? You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. So you might as well do. And here’s the thing; if someone tells me not to do something, it only makes me want to do it more.
I quit my job last month to move to Paris and write. I am not like Marty. I have a backup plan. I’m applying for part-time jobs teaching English and, if money is still tight in a few months, I’ll apply for part-time hospitality work too. But every time I explain my backup options to someone, they look at me with a half-smirk and say, “I don’t think you want to do that though.” They want me to stick to my plan A.
Sometime last spring, I admitted the dream out loud. I was lying in the grass at Parc Monceau, sweating in black denim because it was hotter than I thought it would be. I was talking to a new friend about wanting to quit my job and move to the city long term. She asked if I was planning to do the whole ‘writer in Paris’ thing. I blushed and laughed and admitted it was true.
When I was much younger, I would not have been embarrassed by that. More recently, I would have felt ashamed for dreaming too big and irrationally. But I had already been a writer in London. Would doing it in Paris – where the rent is cheaper – actually be that different? I’m 28 and I feel young and old at the same time. Someone calls me brave and I wonder if that means I’m being reckless.
There is never going to be a dream worth pursuing without risk. There is never a dream that is entirely safe. And you cannot cordon yourself off from failure, embarrassment and mistakes just because a dull, steady life feels easier. Insight springs from discomfort. Nothing fun or interesting ever happened from playing it safe. You have to trust yourself to take measured risks. Delusion is power. It is the first step to getting the life you want.
Maybe the problem with choosing between delusion and realism only arises because we think everything is permanent. Really, most things in life are reversible. Spend a year being delusional then two being realistic and then repeat. This year I am really trying to love the process, to let my delusional goals be the guideposts for building my dream life. The small daily tasks build up to the grand, delusional dreams. Each day feels like getting closer to the person I am meant to be.
Should we be delusional or realistic? Ask me again in a year.
What would you aim to achieve if you didn’t care about being delusional? What’s the biggest, most delusional risk you’ve ever taken? Let me know in the comments, send me a DM or find me on Instagram.
If you enjoyed reading this, you might also like:
How to keep your dreams alive
I could feel the dream dying. I was trying to clasp its bony, clammy hand in mine at Woodberry Down reservoir, but it was slipping away. How do you keep a dream alive? Do you tell yourself silent, soothing stories about it each night before falling asleep? Do you recount grand plans to friends because talking about something means it isn’t really dead? …
Living hard in the city of love
It’s lunchtime on Boulevard de Magenta and the traffic is as thick as the sultry summer air outside. Diamanté encrusted gowns insist upon the road we’re crawling down. Signs splayed across shop awnings cry out; FASHION-SHOP, Secret Nuptial, Le Center Mariage. Walking through the city feels like swimming through warm soup. Sitting in a taxi isn’t much better.
Who's afraid of the Magazine Girl?
I can’t remember the first time I saw her, but as soon as I did, she was under my skin. It was envy or inspiration or, perhaps, desire. I wanted what she had; the walk-in wardrobe, the bustling social calendar, the inner-city apartment, the creative connections, the confidence, the ambition.










a fab read that found me right when it needed to. im off to hop on the train to delulu with ya
Loved this! Just wrote ab this also https://open.substack.com/pub/shesbooksmart/p/why-trying-is-sexy?r=5lzwf&utm_medium=ios🌟🌟🌟